personal to fuck.

finishing school and then joining another.

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 14:37:14 -0400

You heard it right ladies and gents, I’m leaving school and joining another one for two years, I’ve been accepted into St Roberts… which is a sixth form but it might as well still be a school accept that I’m doing A-Levels rather than GCSE’s.

That’s all I have to say for now. <3

i can no longer love.

wearing plasters like it's make-up.

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 17:47:23 -0400

Before I start ranting on to all of you about how my life has been quite dramatic and how I haven’t been on earlier because I COULDN’T BE ARSED, I have to let you know that I ripped my nail by pulling my skirt down and it started to bleed since I ripped it that far down. So, now I’ve been wearing a plaster all the time, obviously changing it regularly, just so I don’t catch it on something else and rip the whole thing.

I found a lovely voice on tumblr a few minutes ago, so now I am stalking their youtube, singing along to songs I thought I only knew… great huh?
Anyway, my drama and music exams are back to back next week, wish me luck? I have remembered all my lines for drama, which is good, and music… well I still don’t know whether I want to sing for abby, but I know for definite that I’m playing The Frey - How to save a life with Chelsea and Elliott, the twins, and Yiruma - River Flows in You on piano. I should do well, I hope. I wish I could sing something from City and Colour because Dallas Green has the best songs written to his name.

To all you bitches who have exams after the glorious holidays, snap. I shall be needing this to write down my complaints, but for now I’m just going to leave the whole school and performance stuff on the lines of “I need a Piano, a stand-up piano, yeah.”

But, for now I’m going to reminisce over a mixture of Harry Potter and a dear Vlogger Alex Day who decided to read Twilight and helped me see another side of the very undecided series.

i love you.
I am now going to dot my “I’s” when I say, “i love you”
don’t know why, so don’t ask darling.

xox

'Imagine if Moody turned Snape into a horned toad.'

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 16:30:03 -0500

Sorry I like Harry Potter, thought I’d quote it because I couldn’t think of a good enough title.

You know when you don’t even know your own feelings, like I have a improper case of Bipolar, but only with the mood changing symptoms, nothing else. (I don’t really have Bipolar I’m just saying I have the mood changes like it.) Like, if I was head over heels one day then I’d start feeling different things and then I’d have a bad half an hour but then a brilliant fifteen minutes afterwards just because I do.
I HAVE A PROM DATE GUYS. Yeah, in a non-sexual way because we both have relationships that we’d like to stick to. I bought my promdress/birthday party frock a few days but I’m not telling anyone what it is like because, well I want to enter my ‘birthday party’ with a bang. Did I mention my Prom was on my 16th? No? Well, now you know. I don’t know how exactly how to feel about this because I have a lot of my friends there in their prettiest and probably most expensive clothes but then again I have people there that I hate with a passion and I would rather shove a white-hot iron rod down my own neck than be in the same room with them.
I’m having a hard time socializing, yeah I have a few close friends like unbelievably close friends (about 5) and we click straight away. But with others that I’ve known just as long, I find it impossible to keep up with their ‘craic’, their weird sayings and views on the world and sometimes I just wish I could have a translator with me 24/7 so I could understand the inside jokes and the ‘you had to be there’ moments. I miss my old friends, like badly but since I died for a month they don’t exactly like to socialize with me any more. Guess I’m diseased lol.

I wish I could fall in love, at least once, even if it was only for a minute. Just so I can feel the rush that they are all ‘supposed’ to feel, I guess that’s impossible.

I love you fella’s.
and my milkshake brings all the girls to the yard cuz I’m a tranny. :|

xxxx

I need a wee.

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 19:28:28 -0500

just downed a litre of water and I’m bursting hang on.

Right, I’m pissed off at myself because I swore that I’d spend the whole of today learning some german crap for my exam on Monday but instead I; went to town for breakfast and bought some valentines present, went to Lidl because I can, got home and munched on a few breakfast bars, fell asleep for 3 hours then woke up at 6 o’clock and said ‘shit, mother I need to learn this german stuff,’ and walked off into my bedroom in a daze.

In other news I’m watching True Blood and I’VE GOT TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT Eric Northman followed me on twitter. Even though I’d much rather Alexander Skarsgard to follow me. It’s too late to be watching such filth, I may go to bed since like I’ve slept through half of the day I seem to be MISSING my bed.

Never thought that was possible.
love youx

my famous old friend.

Mon, 25 Oct 2010 12:51:40 -0400

I’ve had such a lazy weekend that included sitting/lying on the couch beside the fire watching come dine with me and eating my weight in rice. But the funny thing is is that I actually lost weight instead of gained it, I thought if I ate loads of rice I would gain weight, my body said a different story. Tomorrow I’m going to a workshop for an hour and a half with some of my close friends and old friends that I no longer talk to because they corrupt my health. I hope it’s going to go well because I hate, really hate, it when the workshops are done by students and are totally and utterly shit. I don’t care where I go as long as I am out the house for a few hours, being in the house for a good month is shit since the only places I saw were my school and my living room. Bitches. On Wednesday, I’m going out AGAIN thank God, and I’m going out with my lovely Emily Rutherford -ifyouonlyknewwheremymindis.tumblr.com- and I will have a lovely normal day (as normal as you can be with Miss Rutherford). I don’t care what else I do the rest of the week, coursework is piling up so it’ll probably be that, not interesting at all.

I’ve been complaining about this one problem all weekend and I thought I would share it on my personal blog without including any names. Nearly two years ago I met this really cool person and we talked for hours on end without any important subjects or anything and we went drinking a few times and such and suddenly we just stopped talking, no argument or anything we just had a lot of those awkward moments when you’re silent for a long time. This person, over the two years, has changed and more and more people are following them around and licking their arse basically and it’s weird how now when I really want to get back in touch with them I have to wait in line until they go though all the petty people saying ‘OMG YOUR HAIR IS AMAZING, YOU’RE SO COOL!’ etc. It really upsets me to know that I have to wait in line to talk to an old friend about utter bullshit while other people who don’t even know him get to tell him what he has already been told 1,000 times.

DUDE, I miss you.

LOVE YA

friend? bullshit.

Fri, 08 Oct 2010 19:22:08 -0400

yeaaah I got moderately drunk tonight and I was glad I was with my best friends but I invited another friend who I’d recently gotten close to and this friend was excited when I told them.
PHONE CALL:
Friend: yeah er, rae I’m feeling really ill I’m just going to go to bed, sorry I just feel like shit.
Me: yeah okay darling, get well soon :) I’ll see you on monday.

so I let that pass until I started texting someone and he asked if anyone could go in the shop for them because they had ran out of alcohol, he rang my phone and asked me if he could talk to someone there and I passed it on, then I heard him mention the ‘friend’s’ name and I was like “whoa what the fuck is he doing there?!” so I grabbed the phone back off my friend and asked to talk to this FAKE FRIEND, when they wouldn’t let me talk to him I rang the FAKE FRIEND directly.
2ND PHONE CALL:
Fake Friend: oh hey rae—
Me: Hey bullshitter, how you feeling?
Fake Friend: oh I’m still a bit ill, I wasn’t lying…
Me: OH I FEEL SO SYMPATHETIC FOR YOU, POOR BAIRNE IT MUST BE SO HARD TO COME AND SEE ME SO YOU DECIDED TO GO TO SOMEONE ELSE’S AND GET DRUNK,OKAY YOU FAKE FUCKER.

That stupid twat is going to get evil glares on monday, I thought we were friends but they’d rather lie about being ill then spend time with me

pathetic fucker.

HOPE YA DIE.

LOVE YOU FOLLOWERS <3

piece of piss.

Mon, 04 Oct 2010 13:43:47 -0400

my dentist... Dr. Whateverhernameis is a torturer,

Sat, 02 Oct 2010 18:22:04 -0400

Ok, having metal in my mouth isn’t fun. Since blood tastes like a rusty metallic liquid I keep on thinking my mouth is bleeding and I’m going to die, but… OH NO it’s just my stupid ‘W’ shaped brace on the roof of my mouth and I have no idea in hell to what it is doing to my teeth. I got it put in yesterday and at first -when I first sat in that dentist chair- I thought that I was going to have an injection so I couldn’t feel a single thing for a good four hours, however as she started to explain that she was going to GLUE it to my teeth and by doing that she was going to have to push it onto my teeth, yeah that was the moment I started to panic. How am I supposed to act normal when a Dr. Whateverhernameis with brilliant white teeth, is about to push a metal ‘W’ shaped brace inbetween my godforsaken teeth? Luckily, you cannot see the brace when I smile or talk or laugh or even open my mouth and I came to that conclusion by sitting infront of the mirror in my mothers room for nearly two hours reading allowed and looking at my mouth with terror.
And, I, er, need a new book as I keep reading the same things over and over again :|

LOVE YOU

What a Revelation!

Sun, 19 Sep 2010 08:36:56 -0400

He spoke to me, I asked him if we were ‘okay’ in some ways and that we could forget everything that had ever happened LIKE EVER and he just said,
“yeah, okay :)” <——- WHAT!? I opened my heart to this child and I cried my eyes out in front of him and he made me wish I was never alive when we argued… and what did I get? “Yeah, okay :)” fucking hell you arsehole I thought I meant more to you than that. Tosser.
You know what? I’m going to argue again, I’m going to ask you why the FUCK you bothered with me in the first place and WHY you are willing to let it all go with two flipping words, ‘yeah, okay,’ I was at least expecting you to go,
“Rae, why don’t we meet up and talk it out, like EVERYTHING?” I would’ve happily done that because I would’ve asked WHY what happened actually happened. Fuck my life I don’t think I’ve ever been so annoyed at two unemotional words in my whole entire existent..

RANT OVER BEB. LOVE YOU.

What was I thinking?

Mon, 06 Sep 2010 09:35:17 -0400

I’m looking through one of my ex’s facebook profile pictures and he is pulling the same FUCKING FACE (—> :/) every single fucking picture. He’s fat, his hair is pathetic and his skin is disgusting. Yes, finally I realised ‘what the fuck was I thinking?’ actually fits in my life now.

AND HE ALWAYS WEARS THAT FUCKING CAP. He keeps on saying he’s just being ‘hipster’ but he is wearing it like a fucking chav. One day I’m going to go over to his house, rip that motherfucking cap from his ugly and annoying weird rat featured ‘smile’ and burn it infront of him. He says that he isn’t main-streaming his music because all he listens to is stuff you can have a ‘mosh-pit’ to although that is what EVERY WEIRD FUCKER LISTENS TO THESE DAYS. He has no sense in style, no difference in music, he does whatever his friends do…
‘Oh I’ve had this expander for years,’
‘I’M GOING TO GET ONE TOO JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO.’
‘yeah okay whatever…’
‘I’m so cool!’

do me a favour, fuck off.

CLUB DEAD,

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 17:39:32 -0400

I’ve spent all day in bed, literally all day and I: watched a bunch of crap, ate a bowl of rice and some cake and more importantly my mother ordered my last book of the collection from Charlaine Harris. Since I was in a Charlaine Harris mood I picked up my favourite book -so far- from her which is ‘Club Dead,’ and I’m nearly finished it. Yes, I like to read… although most people would be like ‘GEEK N LOVIN IT!’ I do not think I’m a geek, I just like to read the occasional book, well not the occasional, the like 3,000 collections of books that I have.

I’ve finally climbed out of bed to check out a nice outfit for me to buy tomorrow as I am going to my best friend Hannah Fosters’ birthday thang. Dang it I can’t wait, I’m thinking about wearing a nice photobooth tank top from topshop and a simple plain bodycon skirt that I bought from h&m like AGES AGO and it used to be my old school skirt, (I know that sounds tacky but I’m not going to buy another black plain bodycon when I have a perfectly ‘intact’ one sitting right there). I’m meeting her in the town along with her other friends -which I know only three of them- and that means that I have to get the public wonderful thing called Metro. I was planning on wearing heels but if I have to walk from the metro to sunnyside in heels that means that I’m going to be stared at a hell of a lot considering we are going for a meal first at 4:45pm. I guess I’ll look too dressed for that early in the afternoon, however as soon as I see Hannah+co. I will feel much better since they will all be dressed up.

I’ll take a lot of photo’s and show them and I’ll take a video on the metro and I’ll pretend to be on the phone or something. We’ll see how many people look at me like I’m weird and doesn’t understand that I’m not dressed for the afternoon in town.

sitting in -prettynightmares cellar.

Fri, 03 Sep 2010 08:01:40 -0400

Faith Elliott (-prettynightmares) has a wonderful cellar which is a kitchen and it is originally vintage and I fell in love with it immediately. Today I’m going to the pub with my Mother Moan and some of her friends because for some reason or other I get on with adults more than people my own age, is that bad? A friend from school has just got tumblr and she has 600+ followers now and she makes me feel somewhat unpopluar since it took me quite some time to get to at least 100 followers.
Lord help me.

-prettynightmares says hi and have a nioce day. Or night if you’re in america.

ALEX DAY REPLIED TO MY EMAIL BY THE WAY!!!!!!!

GRAB A TASTE OF FRIDAY,

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 09:38:00 -0400

Yes, I know that it’s Thursday today but I bought a six pack of fanta and underneath it all was a little card with ‘Grab a taste of Friday!’ written on it.

I’ve been waiting two days for my jeans that I ordered from asos.com although they were meant to be arriving yesterday. My mother has left me in the house to wait for these jeans while she is running errands for a friend whose son has broken his shoulder. I really want to get out for some fresh air and walk my neighbours dog but I still need to wait for that knock on the door. Why couldn’t I have a bigger letterbox so they just shove it through with no questions asked?

I guess I’m just not that lucky in life huh? -puts bracelet on other wrist- I WANT TO WALK THE DAMN DOG, I know some people hate walking their dog when they can’t be bothered but I like to walk him. Even though he isn’t my dog I still love him, he’s cute and fluffy. :D

I wonder if I can call the website and ask what the fuck’s taking them so long to deliver a pair of jeans? Not even worth the fucking £5 delivery cost!

ahh it's fine, don't worry about it :)
cause when you started to follow me on this one, i was like oh there's her new blog.
and yeah i should be still probably - having been posting much.
and cool, sounds good.
yeah, hello :)
xx

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 09:11:35 -0400

haahaa, cool :)
thanks for following back anyway :)

thanks for the follow :)

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 09:10:49 -0400

you sure are welcome <3

I recommend these bracelets,

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 19:13:58 -0400

they’re like them threaded ones, and you have to keep it on your wrist for 21 days, but the twist is, is that if you ever complain like even if it’s about the smallest thing ever, you’ve got to but the bracelet on the other wrist and start from the beginning.

eventually it’s meant to stop you from complaining so you can reach your goal of 21 days and you’d apparently be a much happier person, I still haven’t got to my 21 but hey fuck it, I like to complain… for now.

I NEVER LEARN,

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:48:33 -0400

I should learn that, yeah we went out for some time and then later on we liked each other again he didn’t want to go any further.
and now… ofcourse being me, I’ve ran back to him and we like each other again but.. guess the obvious, he doesn’t want a relationship.
I bring myself so much false hope for months on end until he says those words, then it all goes back to plain boring old life of Rae Moan.
sometimes I wonder why I used to love him, really I do.

okay now that I’ve complained I’m going to have to put my bracelet on the other arm and start counting to 21 again, I will crack this…

I’ve missed my personal blog. :)
hope it’s missed me too.

Thank you Rae for following me again, I was wondering where your blog was and why I hadn't saw your posts on my dashboard :)
Hello btw.
xx

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:40:53 -0400

ahhh I’m terribly sorry for not explaining :)
you still following pixelsmiles?
this is my personal blog :)
like a diary basically,
hello to you too :)
xx

Alex Day,

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:08:59 -0400

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, I’m about to email alex day, mmmm.
so happy.
I hope this is how my subscribers feel when they get my email…

DOUBT IT LARK.
but if you do please let me know?

oh and if you need my email address again, just message me darlings.

littleredridingcrop started following you

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:06:13 -0400

I love this girl.
LUBIE.